Laziness Does Not Exist

Q. Can you introduce yourself, your work, and the communities you serve?

A. I'm Kelly Rhyne, a trauma and grief therapist currently licensed as a Master Social Worker. My journey has been anything but linear. I began my ministry career with a Master of Divinity, worked as a chaplain, and later pursued disability advocacy work before entering the field therapy. To top it off, I have a BFA in musical theatre.

What defines my practice now is working with neurodivergent adults, particularly those with ADHD and autism.

Q. How has being neurodivergent shaped your journey?

A. I was late-diagnosed with ADHD and, later on, with autism, so I'm AuDHD, as they say, which I think is hilarious. After finding a specialist who specifically diagnoses folks who are under-diagnosed, being diagnosed was profoundly liberating and affirming of my childhood experiences.

When I later left the theatre world and went into these highly academic roles, in the different work culture and experience I found my neurodivergence became a challenge to my success. I reached a turning point and actively sought out the resources and tools I needed to succeed, with Routinery being a tool I have found today. You have to find your community because your community is the one that has the resources that you need.

Q. What does a sustainable life look like for you?

A. Sustainability for me means rejecting the myth of constant productivity. In helping professions especially, we're conditioned to prioritize others' needs until we inevitably burn out. I teach my clients—and constantly remind myself—that sustainable living requires honoring our natural rhythms and limits.

You can only give what you have. If your cup is 20% full when you wake up, you only have 20% to give. If you give all of that 20%, where does that leave you?

“Self-care is actually selfless”

We need to reframe the narrative about self-care. If you do self-care, you can give so much more. By taking the time for yourself, you can have a full cup, 100% full, making you better equipped to give.

As a therapist, it is not selfish, it is necessary. It’s what allows me to show up fully present for my clients and loved ones. We can only give what we have to give.

Q. How did you discover Routinery?

A. A fellow ADHD friend recommended Routinery to me years ago, and unlike so many apps that end up forgotten in a folder, this one has stayed prominently on my home screen through multiple phone purges. What immediately stood out was how it handles interruptions—because let's be honest, life happens constantly, especially for neurodivergent folks.

When you need to pause a routine (because a child needs attention or you suddenly remember an unpaid bill), Routinery doesn't shame you. It simply checks in after 10 minutes with a gentle nudge, like a thoughtful friend saying, "Hey, just wanted to see if you meant to come back to this." That lack of judgment makes all the difference.

The comfort of knowing Routinery is always there, even if I get out of sync with my routines, is key. With no guilt trips attached, I can come back again and again.

I am of the belief that we are all autonomous human beings, everything is a choice. Every time I decide to pick up the app I am making an active choice to be regulated. Whether that be a regulated day because of my morning routine or any other, or a regulated sleep in the evening, our bodies are made for predictability.

We love it when we can predict our life. A routine helps folks like me to have an internal time clock.

Q. Can you share a moment when Routinery helped you or a client feel more aligned with their rhythm or in control of their day?

A. One of the things I do with my clients is a whole session on sleep. Sleep is essentially a charger for your body to get all of its juice back, with our dreams being like software updates to regulate and remove our “glitches.”

So, I end up introducing Routinery in that conversation by having a routine before bed. By doing so, you have trained your brain to recognize when you take certain steps as a sign that it's time to sleep. Any kind of ritual you can do, whether it’s taking a shower and washing off the day, or recounting your rose, bud, and thorn for the day, you train your brain so when you get into bed your brain knows it’s time to sleep. We can’t control our sleep manually so all we can do is set ourselves up for success at such an important time for regulation to start the morning with a fuller cup.

Q. What Routinery features resonate with neurodivergent users most?

A. I think I can speak for a few of these. The timer function is definitely key so I have that almost competition with myself to complete something when I need to.

The other amazing thing is the time estimation on a routine, which has been revolutionary for my ADHD brain. With that, Routinery has built-in estimations, which are especially useful when you underestimate the time a task takes. Like many neurodivergent folks, I chronically underestimate how long tasks take. When Routinery says, actually, that a 'quick shower' averages 18 minutes, it helps me build more realistic days.

Some other features I love are:

• Breaking down tasks into smaller more manageable parts, tasks that can feel daunting for those with ADHD.

• The ability to pause, skip, go over time, or move a task to the end of a routine.

• Customizable emojis and colors for tasks which many of us enjoy experimenting with.

• Community templates and routines for inspiration to make changes to my routines.

• Routine streaks to build motivation without the shame spiral if I miss a day.

Routinery meets you exactly where you are each day, which is precisely what neurodivergent brains need to thrive.

Q. What routine-building challenges do clients face and how can Routinery support them?

A. The most universal challenge is interest. We want our dopamine, and for those who face similar struggles of an app losing novelty, I suggest switching up your routine. Like moving around where you brush your teeth and suddenly it’s something new to accomplish. Having the manual feature is good for some routines, but for morning or evening routines I think having that time-based alert is key. To get that ball rolling after that notification with that first step makes a huge difference.

The community tab also brings in that novelty as you can see other routines and get inspired for your own to maintain your interest.

Q. Are there any misconceptions about neurodivergent experiences that you often encounter, especially in relation to productivity or routines?

A. The classic, most damaging myth, is the “L word,” lazy.

“Laziness does not exist.”

Executive dysfunction isn't a character flaw—it's a neurological reality that requires different strategies, not more shame. It’s not about someone being lazy, it’s about their body being overwhelmed. It’s about them being dysregulated, it’s about them being triggered. Whatever it may be, laziness has nothing to do with it. I would say 90% of the time it has to do with “I’m tired.” Especially if you have a neurodivergent brain, it’s doing a lot and you get tired more easily, and when you get tired you dissociate.

So it’s not laziness, it’s regulation. It’s us saying we need to take a second. By having these routines and getting our body used to something and getting into a pattern where it’s doing it on its own and wants to help us, the more regulated our day is.

Q. What encouragement would you offer fellow neurodivergent folks?

A. There’s so much I could say, and I’ve said a lot, so let me do a review.

You’re not lazy. You’re not dumb. You’re actually probably highly intelligent, highly skilled, and highly motivated, but unfortunately, the world has not been built for the way our brain functions.

Without people with ADHD and autism, we wouldn’t have these amazing creative projects or a skill for obsessing over a subject and becoming severe experts in it.

The right tools and systems can help you work with your natural neurology rather than exhausting yourself trying to mimic neurotypical standards. You’re gonna be surprised at how much you can accomplish when you set up the world to work for you instead of against you.

Final Thoughts

🕊️ Routines aren't about restriction—they're about creating predictable scaffolding that empowers neurodivergent minds to focus their energy where it matters most.